My very part-time job
these past few years has been answering email questions for the PBS show
“Scrapbook Memories.” A couple of weeks ago I opened up this one:
comments_questions: Beth you realy need to loose weight, is just a comment from a friend. Love you!
Wow~! Love you?
Sure I’ve had critical
emails before. One woman wrote to
say “that girl without the accent – get rid of her” as if her wish of a
Soprano’s style execution was her choice.
Yikes.
I’ve had plenty of emails about my dominating conversation style, my obnoxious way of interrupting and how I could learn a thing or two from my gracious co-host, Julie. Most days I take it with a grain of salt. I also worked in daily TV news when the internet was just ramping up. In other words, lots of emails crossed my path from anonymous people who just have something to say, send an email and not even think about the person receiving it. Most often, I never replied.
Yes .. I do need to lose weight.
And this has been something that has reared its ugly head over and over again during the past few years. Clothing not fitting like it used to, breaking into a sweat after climbing the stairs, eating more sweets and simple foods are just a few of the indicators that something needs to change.
But then I had an annual physical last week and my glucose and cholesterol numbers came back – they are abysmal.
Somewhere between getting married and becoming a mom to my two kids I have put myself so far on the back burner I’m surprised I even get out of bed in the morning. Except that my kids are begging me to get up. I’m told this is common in motherhood. But it doesn’t have to be. For me, there have been many missed opportunities to take care of myself. Most important, missed opportunities to break into a sweat and get my life back – for me and my family.
This will not be a diet blog. This is my blog to document my life with my family and friends. But this is a part of my life. And I feel like this is a big part of my 40th year in this world – a year where 40 pounds need to go away.
So I wrote "Jen" back. That’s not her name. In the interest of full disclosure – this is what I wrote. Kind of snarky, I know.
Dear "Jen":
Thanks for writing, I think. Yes .. I know I need to LOSE (not loose) weight. Yes .. this has been something that has been weighing me down for years -- even when I weighed less. Yes .. your email .. hurts my feelings. Perhaps that was your intention. I can't decide. Needless to say it's something I'm working on in my own life. And it's very hard. Maybe keeping slender at a perfect BMI is something you work hard at and can't appreciate others who don't always do the same.
Sincerely,
Beth Madland
And "Jen", with deep and humble kindness, wrote back.
I am deeply sorry to know my comment did hurt your feelings, that was definitely not my intention. I have never been a day thin in my life and I know how difficult it is to even drop an ounce. So please accept my true and honest apology. Regretfully, "Jen" P.S. I love your show.
There is one thing I will always remember from her reply. “I have never been a day thin in my life.” She admitted what most don’t.
Her judgement.
I, like "Jen", have sat in judgement of others for their weight (when I am overweight), accent, poor grammar (when mine could use daily improvements) and other superficial qualities. The only difference is that I never verbalized them or put them in a quick email just to pass along to some unsuspecting target. But that doesn’t make me any better. So my take home with this is that I need to be a lot kinder to myself as I take this journey to lose 40 pounds in my 40th year. But more importantly, I need to be kinder to others as well. "Jen" and I are probably more alike than different.


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